Cringeworthy

/By: bmsteam

- July 18, 2018 -

I know I'm going to draw heat from this...but since when have I shied away from a little controversy?

So here we go.

I'm not big on sending out Christmas cards myself, but my mom always did it.

And Cheryl's mom always included annual "Christmas letter" of sorts that she'd type (on an old manual typewriter) and give to Cheryl's dad to copy off for her.

Always interesting to read the other cards that had more than just a signature.

I remember one really creative family used to have the kids write a message in their own handwriting and include that along with a photo - like a big collage.

Always looked forward to that one each year!

Then there was the one that had to be written by the husband or wife but they talked about themselves in the third person. What's up with that?

Or the cringeworthy ones where...

...child #1 single-handedly led his high school football team to states.

...child #2 is in the gifted class and read 210 books this year.

...child #3 won the trophy for 4th grade perfect attendance. Again.

...and the family vacation was a 2-week trip to Paris where hubby spoke flawless French by taking a quick course on Rosetta Stone a month before going.

My mother would look at me and say, "Well, you can play the trumpet pretty well, Arthur. And you have good teeth."

Oh, geez...this is why I don't send Christmas cards. Too much pressure!

The years that Cheryl sent them, she tried so hard not to be the braggy parent.

So instead of going that route...she'd tell stories like the memorable 2nd grade concert where her son (first row, smack in the middle) played his recorder by sticking it in his nose instead just because "It was more fun that way, Mom!"

7 rules that if broken make you cringeworthy.

1. No more talking about yourself in the third person.

"Joe Bloggs is one of the most sought-after marketing consultants in the world (or in-demand speaker or fill-in-the-blank)."

And the email clearly came from and was signed by Joe?

(Yawn.)

2. Go easy on the kudos.

"Joe Bloggs has been featured in Fox News, CNN, and Oprah. He's visited clients in three continents. Generated 7 figures in just two years. Cooks breakfast and packs lunches every day for his ten children. Volunteers at the local soup kitchen every other weekend. And ballroom dances competitively."

(Right.)

3. Chill a little.

"Joe Bloggs has the rare ability to ascertain exactly what his clients need to move their business to extraordinary heights...guaranteed."

(Ok, if you say so.)

4. But not too chill.

Don't start overusing those cutesy emojii's, triple exclamation points, and slang that your kids use on social media.

(Or you'll sound like a millennial frat boy.)

5. Skip the rags-to-riches stereotypes.

"Only three years ago, I was sleeping on my cousin's couch with only $43 bucks to my name. And today, I live in a mansion, drive a Ferrari, and have a private jet. I don't say this to brag but as living proof that you can, too!"

(Gag.)

6. Stop using worn-out jargon.

Think outside the box. Content is king. Low hanging fruit. Cutting-edge. Take your business to the next level. Subscribe to my newsletter. Build a tribe.

(Coin your own phrases. You'll be unforgettable.)

7. Keep it simple.

You'll sell just fine without a ton of pop-ups, the latest countdown timer, fake reviews, and whatever new widget is being hawked.

(Too much hype.)

That's it.

The more you break these rules, the less real you come off.

The more average your funnel becomes.

Pick just one that you might be guilty of (I've been trying really hard to not use as many LOLs...it's tough, though) and get to work.

Or you can hire us to make your funnels rock.

Art Basmajian signature

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